Recurrent pregnancy loss

In 2021, I unwittingly and unwillingly joined this exclusive club. Much like with endometriosis, I've become something of a reluctant expert on the topic, as well as a very irritable advocate. (I'm working on the irritability, but grieving takes time, and it mostly sucks.) The Guardian has published a number of personal articles describing the experience, and in 2021 The Lancet published a series on the state of miscarriage research. Of note, people from low-income backgrounds and historically marginalized groups are affected at a higher rate and receive lower quality care. (This is sadly in line with a despicable trend throughout the history of gynecology.)

I'm a particularly big fan of Tommy's, a charity that has funded a number of important pregnancy studies and advocates for people with high-risk pregnancies and a history of loss. I stand with them in their mission to reduce pregnancy complications and eradicate the myth that because miscarriage is common, it should not be taken seriously.

If you are looking for ways to comfort someone after a loss, please check out these resources. If you are going through a loss yourself, Tommy's has tons of resources. Miscarriage is physically, psychologically, and emotionally traumatic. People grieve after miscarriages, just like they do for any other loss in life. Dismissive statements ("it's just one of those things / it wasn't a real baby yet") and well-intentioned attempts to cheer someone up ("at least you can get pregnant / at least it was early") can complicate the grieving process. Taking a bit of time to understand and be compassionate can help someone heal.